Mesa Trail, Colorado

Definite darkness is setting in. I did not get as far up the mountain as I wanted to. Seeing a 200 foot rock climb, I felt an incredible urge to get to the top. The climb started to approach safety limits for a free climb, given that I’d have to descend in the dark. As it is, I am maybe 150 feet into the climb and having difficulty seeing my own writing.

On the East coast, there are mountains with rock out-croppings. Here, there are mountains of rock. All the while, climbing up to where I am now, I felt it was a stupid thing to do, yet my compulsion to move forward was far greater. But at this point, I MUST descend — at the very least, I must get below the technical portion of the climb…

* * *

It is as dark as it’s going to get. Somehow, it is very still and warm up here. On the last part of the descent, I felt fear — fear that I would fall. But I stopped and felt the fear; breathed it and let it pass through me. In that fear, I think I realized why I made this evening’s trek in the first place: Because when I was afraid, I again realized that I am where I am as a direct result of my choices. Were I to fall, stay put, or make it down, it would be solely because I chose to do so and took actions to carry out my choice. This is important — not only for the moments just past on the rock, but to all of my life.

I am where I am because of my choices and actions upon those choices. Never forget the power of ones own will to determine ones reality. I climbed tonight because I needed to be reminded of this fact.

* * *

As I start my journey back home, having returned to the relative safety of snow covered mountain trails, I happen to look up at the sky — stars.

From my present vantage point, I stand at the center of three unique worlds. Behind me is the deep, solid, blackness of rock, trees and ice — almost absorbing all light that falls upon them.

In front of me is the city of Boulder, yet it is far enough away that only the changing pattern of lights makes it this far. Thousands and thousands of brilliant lights in an unending effort to push back the darkness.

And above me is the most spectacular of the three worlds — the endless heavens speckled with pinpoints of light so very distant, yet proclaiming your right to reach for your dreams. And I, a mere mortal, have been given the privilege to walk through this junction and see the splendor of their union.

Copyright (C), 1998, by Ashley Guberman

Speak Your Mind