Love & Brilliance

I forever discount anything amazing that I do.
If I did it, even if only after some level of struggle, then surely it was not that hard or important, or worthy of praise or acknowledgment.

  • So I climbed Half Dome. Big deal.
  • So I saved a life. Anybody would do that.
  • So I fly my paraglider with eagles. So do the rest of the pilots I know.
  • So I have amazing children. Every parent thinks that.

The point is that I consistently fail to see real value or accomplishment in anything that I do.

The Impact is that I don’t see myself as amazing.
I see myself as small. Ordinary.
I fail to allow myself the experience of joy that comes from accomplishment.

No matter how big I play, I play small relative to what is really possible for me.

So what’s the Impact?

  • When I blaze a trail, I don’t allow myself to light the way for others.  I am the light on a hill that is hidden under a basket.  (Luke 11:33)
  • I fail to be a clearing for possibility in others

If I am going to be a clearing for possibility for others, and I am, then I have to allow acknowledgment.

I have to allow that what I do is declare and fulfill on possibility, because that’s what lights the way for others to do the same.

No!  No!  You idiot!
Don’t share any of that! 
How conceited! 
How arrogant! 
Shut up and go back to being small!

I hear you, my inner critic.
I know you are there.
I acknowledge that you are afraid for me.
I know that you love me.
I know that you are trying to protect me from being hurt, or being the fool, or ridiculed.
I know you are doing this from what has happened in the past, and that you have good reasons for doing so.

And you know what?

I’ve got this.
I’m a big person now.

declare that who I am on this planet – the possibility that I stand for – is love and brilliance, at the same time.

Brilliance not from ego, but from sharing.
Brilliance from shining a light for others to follow, if they choose.
Brilliance from creating ease, peace, and love where formerly there was darkness.
Brilliance from possibility, and opportunity — to which those around me can freely choose their own path.

And love.
Especially love.
The undeniably powerful love that I feel for my children?
Yes, that kind of love, even for myself.
A love that is unstoppable.
A love that is visible, tangible, ever-present, and real.

This is love that starts with a declaration, uses possibility as rocket-fuel, and creates a world and life worth living.

Who I am is the possibility of love and brilliance, for all.

I matter because I say so.

And so do all of you, if I let you.
And so do all of you, even if I don’t.
And so do all of you, from love and brilliance.

Can I do that?
Can I be in that space without collapsing?  Without fear?

No, I cannot.
Because fear is OK.
It’s not going to go away.
It’s just not in charge of who I am.

I am.
Because I say so.
From my word: Love and Brilliance.

My word?  Love and brilliance.

Love and brilliance.

The End of Racial Inequity

Why constitute myself as group, school, or larger?
Because alone, I have limited power.
As group, school, or world, when I am my word,
And I say something will be (is),
Then I have the power to create it through the very act of speaking it -
The power of generating it through the word that I am.
 
That’s a lot of power.
Individually, I experience that as scary.
My fear kicks in and screams

            “Don’t do it!  I’ll fail!”

The pull between the individual and the world is in my head.
I am my word.
Nothing else.
And for so damn long, my word has been small.
I am my word.
And my word is?  Is?
What am I up to?

I am the possibility of the end of racial inequity in my children’s school before they graduate.

Push.  Pull.  It’s too big!  It’s too small.
 
Who cares!?
I do.
And I am the possibility of the end of racial inequity in my children’s school before they graduate.
 
No!  No!  Wait!
But what about me?!  The individual!
 
If I am my word, and that possibility, little I will vanish.
I am going to fail!
 
Maybe.
And so what !?
 
But my kids are white!
Why should I even care about that?
 
Because the only way I can not care about racial inequity is to define an "us and them."
That is the antithesis of declaring myself as group, school, or world.
It’s the antithesis of being my word.
I declare...
No!
I am the possibility of the end of racial inequity in my children’s school before they graduate.
 
Why?
Because I say so!!
 
The ability (or failing) of humanity to see some people as better-than or worse-than others
is the seed of fear, of hatred, of indifference, of war.
It is the antithesis of the love that Christ is for all of his children.

I am the possibility of the end of racial inequity in my children’s school before they graduate.